San Francisco dad Ben Patterson was looking after his toddler son, Declan, while his wife was out with friends. What seemed like an innocent ride in the car with Daddy turned into one epic saga of text messages. Since Dad posted the incident on Facebook, it was shared over 150,000 times. So what happened in the backseat of the car? Vomit. A whole lot of vomit.
Anyone who has ever looked after a child has seen a tiny tot produce the kind of projectile vomit you would only expect to see in a horror movie like The Exorcist. Ben was so taken aback by his son's puke, he had to pull over the car and dry heave. What happened next were a slew of text messages to the mama bear that would later become the puke heard 'round the world!
See this hilarious father-son story below. If anything like this has ever happened to you, let us know in the comments!
[H/T: Ben Patterson]
"Last night I was supposed to watch the kids, so my wife and I swapped cars after work so she could head out with some friends."
"On the way home, projectile vomit occurred and the whole time my wife wasn't answering her phone… See the ensuing text messages."
“It smells SO BAD,” the father wrote. “I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids.”
The father continued to use some hilarious hyperboles and farcical scenarios to let Mom know just how gross this vomit is!
"Life pro-tip: When I get off this flight I'm grabbing a few of these bad boys to stash in the minivan. Mostly for me, not the kids."
The next day, Ben shared this photo with Declan in the driver's seat. The father wanted to add one important disclaimer to his text message saga.
"Glad so many people found it so funny! I just wanted to clarify that while the rest of the story is true, the part about the police coming and the breathalyzer was just something I added for dramatic effect for my wife in the moment. Now that the story has blown up, I wouldn’t want anyone to think badly of the Burlingame PD because I was joking!
"Many folks asked how Declan is doing, and he's totally fine — here's what he looks like when he's not covered in his own puke, and he's pretty darn cute if I do say so myself.
Cheers all!"
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